The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, by John Izzo
John Izzo begins his book: The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die with a question we should form our entire life around: “Why do some people find wisdom and die happy?” This query is one that should sit quietly in the back of our minds from birth until death. When we sit with a question like this, we open ourselves to the endless possibilities of the answer.John Izzo seeks to provide his audience with a roadmap to discovering our own answer to this. Through his book, he invites us to create lives of wisdom and happiness, no matter what our circumstance. Before beginning the five-step lesson, Izzo outlines the greatest challenge of all. He reminds us that time is passing. In our powelessness over that, we have huge opportunities. We can manage our priorities and our choices. We are the stars of this one-person, one-lifetime show.
This book was, in some ways, a collaboration. Four thousand people were nominated by friends or loved ones as being true pillars of wisdom and joy. The author then chose 235 of those candidates between 60 and 105 years old – the most knowledgeable section of our society. These subjects have experienced the most. They can separate the hard knocks from the great lessons. Through those subjects and their wisdom, Izzo came up with five tenets for a life worth living:
- Be true to yourself.
- Leave no regrets.
- Become love.
- Live in the moment.
- Give more than you take.
· Living in the moment. If one of the five tenets to living a happy life is to live in the moment, we are literally behind the eightball before we even begin. We are taken out of the “moment” a thousand times each day through our own technology. (Can you say email?) The author recounts taking his dog for a walk one day. The dog was enjoying that walk so much more than Mr. Izzo himself. The dog paused to enthusiastically enjoy smells or the company of other dogs (friends). The author was simply busy timing himself to accomplish his daily speed walk.
· Become Love. Izzo asks us to recognize that love is not an idea, it is an action. It means choosing to spend time with friends. (Even dogs do that!) It means embodying thoughtfulness and a loving tone. We must not miss an opportunity or spend a day in human disappointment – there simply are no do-overs. You will pass through today only once, and love will sustain you.
· Leave no Regrets. The author’s grandfather offered him the idea, early in his life, to judge his days by how satisfying they are. Each day will pass, it is simply the law of time and space, but how we live and how fulfilled we are, will become the foundation of great choices. Quite simply, we get this one chance to create a life that leaves no regrets. Do what thrills you.
Like all great books on positive psychology, gratitude is the prevailing thought throughout this book. To be able to rebound every day (if necessary) and choose to live a joyous and meaningful life. To create time to be still and find the timeless beauty hidden behind to do lists and ever-full inboxes. To author our own sonata, our own academy-award winning existence. That is the good life, and John Izzo wants us to know it. The rewards of each of these five principles are limitless, and amazingly, they are free. It’s the free lottery ticket – your one true life.
To your success, Dr. Success (aka Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.)
http://www.servingsuccess.com/
An Essay on Shifting Sands: A Guidebook for Crossing the Deserts of Change, by Steve Donahue
An Essay by Dr. Success (aka Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.)
Click below for an excerpt of this book (use the arrows at the top of the page to read the entire excerpt, which has been provided by the publisher.)http://publishing.yudu.com/Freedom/Amve1/ExcerptfromShiftingS/As a society, we are trained from our earliest years to approach our lives like mountain climbers. From the time we enter school we are supposedly being taught what to pack for life’s journey. By our teens, we have often laid out a detailed map and a kit of tools to our life and we are keenly aware of where our life journey is meant to go and where the summit is. Soon after starting that journey, however, we discover that life has its own paths, surprises and unexpected summits and challenges waiting for us.
The author of Shifting Sands, Steve Donahue, builds on an experience from his youth, where he and a friend seized the moment and unexpectedly drove across the Sahara Desert. Steve uses this as a life metaphor for the long journey of crossing an ever-changing desert when we “expect” to be climbing a well-planned mountain. In this book, the author shares that one evening the group had carefully planned their next step in the journey – it was completely laid out, right down to where the hills and sands and markings were. When they awoke the next morning, there had been a sandstorm and everything was different.
This becomes one of the author’s core revelations: Use a compass instead of a map. Rather than following someone else’s instructions and roadmap to the summit, Donahue encourages his readers to use our own inner compass and intuitive guideposts to plot our path day by day. Life is ever changing, and no amount of maps and markers can really plot our course – and if we think about it, would we even really want that?
One of Donahue’s most poignant chapters is, “When You’re Stuck, Deflate.” When we get stuck in life, we often tend to dig in our heels (or wheels) and just try harder – the old adage, “If at first you don’t succeed,” ringing in our ears. But in life, like in the desert, sometimes that only bogs us deeper down into the sand. Being hell-bent to follow the map and do something the way we plan, can literally stop us in our tracks. According to Shifting Sands, sometimes we must simply stop, let go, and shift with the changing scene around us. The question thus becomes: How do I let go of my ideas and my ego and move forward?
As an executive mentor, my role is to uncover why we allow ourselves to get stuck and what we do to shift and rethink our direction and our summits. We know through positive psychology that as human beings we are sometimes stopped by our own experiences and comfort level over and over. Our ego will use this as a benchmark to allow us to feel “accomplished.” We are thus compelled to repeat only what we know. By using an inner compass, you can use your own “True North” to overtake that mental goalpost and begin to create a different journey and conquer summits higher than we might have ever dreamed to set.
As human beings, we like to assume we “know” how things will turn out and what steps we need to take to get there. We are gratefully reminded in Shifting Sands: A Guidebook for Crossing the Deserts of Change, that each life is an uncharted adventure to be joyously relished.
To your success! Dr. Success, Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.http://www.servingsuccess.com/
Guiding Questions
If you were to plan to cross a desert, how would you prepare?
If you were to plan on climbing a mountain, how would you prepare?
In your life, when and how do you use these skills?
Do these skills serve you?
As I drove from errand to errand today, I was listening to NPR. There was a food show playing between 1:30 and 2:00 p.m. PST on 5/11/12, but I am not sure of the name of it. The message, however, caused me to feel great joy and appreciation. The part of the show I caught was talking about recipes people had sent in from their mothers and grandmothers. Then they played recording of a caller from 2008.
The woman told the story of what it was like to get her grandmother to tell her what exactly went into her famous chicken soup. This grandmother had lived through the Holocaust, and joked that she thought God had forgotten her. It was a wonderful story of the grandmother saying things like, "put water in the pot" only to have her granddaughter say, "how much water?" The grandmother never did get too specific, and the granddaughter still got her recipe. There was one way the grandmother said her granddaughters would be sure they had done it right -- they were to put the soup in the refrigerator overnight and check to make sure it gelled.
The caller than added that her grandmother went on to live to be 104. The day of her grandmother's passing, unbeknown to either the caller or her sibling, they had both made chicken soup. Later that day, they learned of their grandmother's passing. They checked. The chicken soup had gelled.
This touched me so because chicken soup is one of the many foods my mother makes that is the 'best of the best', yet when her granddaughter, Dana, wanted the recipe, she did write it down. Mom's chicken soup is still a high demand item, yet now our daughter Dana's chicken soup has taken over in our freezer.
Each time Dana visits one of her many cooking 'jobs' is to fill the freezer with chicken soup (my Mom always did that for me before leaving to go back to New York -- but she has stopped visiting in the last 10 years!). It is a known fact in our house that as generous as my husband, Richard, and I are normally, that generosity vanishes when it comes to sharing Dana's chicken soup.
On one of Dana's most recent trips she was busy making us soup. A friend was there who was accustomed to taking home leftovers. At the end of the meal he said he noticed we were not offering to allow him to have any. My only response was: You noticed right!
The photo on this blog is my Mom's recipe, in her handwriting, on that same piece of paper she wrote out for Dana 10 years or so ago.
Memories take on so many meanings. For me chicken soup will always be love. I love you Mom. I love you Dana. Thank you. Happy Mother's Day to all.
Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
www.ServingSuccess.com
www.DontDieBooks.com
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
Marty Seligman delivered this TED speech in 2004. I was completing his Authentic Happiness Coaching program at that time and he told us about this speech. This segment covers Positive Psychology to that point in its young history. It is a good primer for those interested in the subject.
One part not covered in this video that Marty shared during the class stuck with me -- because it is something I generally do not care about -- and that was when he taught that when Florence was the center of economic commerce, the greatest decision the wealthy made was to invest in the arts.
It was that investment that helped the society flourish and continue to proposer for centuries. Today, the core of Florence's global attraction is art and architecture created during that time (well maybe food, fashion and weather have something to do it, too).
I live in Las Vegas. Tourists do not come to Las Vegas because of the art and culture. Yet, several years ago the buzz about the Smith Center for the Performing Arts and its creation began to circulate. In March, 2012 The Smith Center opened -- after having been constructed during the worst depression in Las Vegas history (because the population of Las Vegas was so small during the Great Depression most stories you hear about Las Vegas and that depression are associated with how Las Vegas prospered from government stimulus -- specifically the building of Hoover Dam).
As I sat in the Smith Center Reynolds Hall for the first time last night, I understood what the leaders of Florence understood and what Marty Seligman was attempting to teach me...investment in the arts creates community. Every seat in the hall was filled, and filled with faces of every race, creed, color and generation. I have lived in Las Vegas 15 years, I have never experienced the electrifying sense of community I experience in that hall.
I always knew Las Vegas would survive the depression of 2008-2012. It was not until last night that I could see how it was going to again thrive.
The Reynolds Foundation legacy will become the legacy of a city.
Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
I think Linton Weeks has done an excellent job of explaining a major problem most of us are experiencing in every aspect of our daily lives in his NPR article What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate. I recommend you read the whole article...but these excerpts might give you a flavor for the article:
and...
"It is the weirdest thing. There are more ways than ever to communicate with people, yet it sometimes seems like it is more difficult to connect — and stay connected — with anyone.
Should you shoot off an email? Tap out a text? Post a private message on Facebook? Write on their Facebook wall? Skype, poke, ping or conjure them up on a digital tin can phone?"and...
"Invoking Marshall McLuhan's famous quote, "The medium is the message," Kamber says that in contemporary American culture, "the problem is not how to best contact someone for the sake of contact, but rather the problem is how to contact someone in a medium where the intended message can most accurately be conveyed."
Now that Linton has communicated the problem clearly, I wish he would communicate a solution.
Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
www.ServingSuccess.com
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
Now that Linton has communicated the problem clearly, I wish he would communicate a solution.
Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
www.ServingSuccess.com
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
I have been sharing a motto of mine a lot lately: Consistent Persistence. It is my answer to just about every question of "What does it take to be a success?" Then I was shown a hopeful sign of consistent persistence in action - 40 + years in the making.
Buckminster Fuller stated in the 1970’s that we had the ability to end poverty by the year 2000. He proved his case by developing a resource flow map called the “Dymaxion™ Map". The map was a map of the world displaying world resources, allowing "players to strategize solutions to global problems, matching human needs with resources.” (Footnote below.)
May you be persistently happy today as you consistently strive toward your goals. Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD Footnote reference:
Buckminster Fuller stated in the 1970’s that we had the ability to end poverty by the year 2000. He proved his case by developing a resource flow map called the “Dymaxion™ Map". The map was a map of the world displaying world resources, allowing "players to strategize solutions to global problems, matching human needs with resources.” (Footnote below.)
We may not have eliminated all poverty, but I was pleased to read in The United Nations 2012 World Happiness report that:
The developing countries have successfully cut the overall poverty rate by half comparing 1990 and 2010, from around 44% to 22%. Page 9 World Happiness ReportThe World Happiness Report was developed under the direction of Jeffrey Sachs, Director, The Earth Institute, Columbia University; John Helliwell, Professor Emeritus of Economics, University of British Columbia; and, Richard Layard, Director, Well-being Programme, Centre of Economic Performance, London School of Economics. You can download the entire report for free:
I know the qualifiers are the words “developing” and “cut” not world and conquered, yet I feel very hopeful that we are trending in the right direction. Which brings me to today’s Dr. Success Challenge: Examine a goal that you have set that you still have not completely achieved. Measure the progress you have made and set a new, short term goal that moves you closer to achieving the original target. 2012 started with enormous opportunity and the challenge for shifts to take place. The economy had an opportunity get stronger – or not. Unemployment had an opportunity to decline – or not. American’s have the opportunity to elect a new president – or not. The world supposedly has an opportunity to end on 12/21 – or not.
As of today, all of these opportunities and challenges still exist. The only thing we know for sure is that legendary entertainment visionary Dick Clark will not be physically present to ring in 2013. I believe spiritual author Caroline Myss has the best advice when to share when it comes to pondering, “What is a person to do?”
As of today, all of these opportunities and challenges still exist. The only thing we know for sure is that legendary entertainment visionary Dick Clark will not be physically present to ring in 2013. I believe spiritual author Caroline Myss has the best advice when to share when it comes to pondering, “What is a person to do?”
This age of consciousness is not pushing us merely to indulge in new spiritual theories or play thought games that unite physics with Zen Buddhism. We are meant to move toward self-discovery and spiritual maturity, to be ready and able to live a life that matters to us and to those around us. Caroline Myss
Dr. Success Challenge: What action will you take today to move yourself toward self-discovery and spiritual maturity? Thank you for reading, Andrea Goeglein P.S. Remember to take action :)
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.comStarting the week of success reading and using a book Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide for myself and withing my client work.
I find my work being guided by a quote attributed to Charles Darwin's: "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."
May your week allow you many opportunities to welcome change as you create your best life.
Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
http://www.facebook.com/DrSuccessPhD
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
I find my work being guided by a quote attributed to Charles Darwin's: "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."
May your week allow you many opportunities to welcome change as you create your best life.
Thank you, Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
http://www.facebook.com/DrSuccessPhD
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
Many have questioned why I am so devoted to my trademarked title Don't Die. Most who question the title just don't like what they feel is a focus on death. No amount of me saying, "Don't Die books are all about living a don't die spirit" seems to matter.
Then I see a story like the one in the video above. I don't need to explain what a don't die spirit is -- this young woman is living it. Remember: Do not count a full life by how long you live. Live a full life that counts no matter how long you live.
I have not signed up to be an organ transplant, but I will this week.
Charity Tillemann-Dick to say you are an inspiration seems shallow. The depth of your contribution to our world will be sung with every additional donor who signs up because of your bravery. Thank you for sharing your spirit, your talent and your life. You are living a well sung life.
Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
www.ServingSuccess.com
https://www.facebook.com/DrSuccessPhD
Soft Fascination and Leomonade
Soft Fascination and Lemonade
Anyone who has ever had to proofread, write a bibliography or refrain from snacking in the afternoon knows that these activities can be mentally exhausting. In fact, psychologist Roy Baumeister and his colleagues found that these types of tasks-- those that involve effortful attention-- deplete glucose in the brain. When the researchers gave fatigued study participants a glass of sugary lemonade they suddenly became better at these activities, as opposed to those who were given a glass of lemonade made with an artificial sweetener, who received no benefit.
A new article published earlier this year makes a strong case that attention is a psychological resource that can help us be at our best, but which we can "use up" like logs in a fire. Apart from having some lemonade the authors suggest several ways that we can restore our attentional powers. One is to sleep. Another is to meditate. The third possibility is even more intriguing: The authors divide our attention into two parts, involuntary attention (the natural tracking we engage in that doesn't require any conscious effort) and voluntary attention (the effortful looking at and figuring out of the world around us). An urban environment, the authors say, tends to deplete us because it draws on both our involuntary attention (noticing background information such as buildings) and our voluntary attention (keeping an eye out for traffic). They call this "hard fascination" and it tends to be exhausting. The alternative is "soft fascination" and this is exactly what happens when people experience natural vistas. If you spend time at the beach or walking through the forest your involuntary, but not voluntary attention is engaged, giving the latter time to rest and restore. So getting out into nature can provide a resource boost.
Next time you have a big day with lots of demanding work consider taking a break to go to the city park or similar pleasant greenspace and see how it affects your mental resources. If you just don't have time to get outside I suppose you can always turn to that glass of lemonade! Thank you, Robert, for a great post. Andrea T. Goeglein www.ServingSuccess.com
Here are the links again to order Robert's new book and to his site for outstanding learning opportunities:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Courage-Quotient-Robert-Biswas-Diener/dp/0470917423/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334326756&sr=8-1
www.positiveacorn.com
